Blahh Running

I'm feelin grumpy today. Ya know why? Because running is not going so hot these days. Yes, I'm getting all of my runs in, and increasing my mileage and all that jazz, but I haven't had a "hot damn that was a good run!!" run since my 7 miler a few weeks ago.

TMI: At the doctor I was diagnosed with IBS, google for gross details LOL. If I can't tell blogland about my tummy issues, who can I tell? No one? You're probably right, I should keep that shit (pun intended) to myself, but I digress. It's really affecting my runs and I'm not a fan.

I've tried eating different things so that my stomach will chill the fuck out when I'm being active and running all over, but no, he insists on freaking out whenever I do something active. Dumb.

Yesterday I ran 4 miles and felt nauseous the whole time. Then I started getting a sharp pain my stomach every couple minutes. Not cool bro. I told/complained to my boyfriend about not having a good run lately, and like a guy, of course he says "maybe you'll have a good run at the half marathon!" .....Ok dear. Sheesh. The girl who does the bootcamp class I go to did offer to practice running the Woodrow Wilson Bridge with me, since that's the last part of my half marathon, so I might take her up on that. It has a pretty steep elevation so I'm not looking forward to that ish..

My 10 mile run this past weekend wasn't that great. The first 5 were ok, but after that I just couldn't get into it. It didn't help that I forgot my hat and my water bottle. Literally every time I passed someone with a bottle I debated yanking that shit out of their hand. I have a problem.

All I know is that I need to get it together before October 5 or I will be very unhappy. Any ideas, anyone? #HelpMe.

-Crystal

The Yearly Visit..

To the doctor that is.

For the first time in about uhhhhh a million years, I was actually looking forward to my visit to the doctor today for my yearly physical. First, my doctor is thin, gorgeous, blonde hair and blue eyes. She actually just turned 29 this year, so she's not that much older than me. So it's already intimidating being her patient. January 3, 2013 I went to the doctor for a physical and I was literally sweating getting undressed and putting on the little gown. Not because I was nervous, but because any physical activity, no matter how small, had me sweating. Cute, right? Yea not so much.

Today I went and I was just as chipper as a bird. Hopped on that scale and smiled for once, instead of shaking with sweaty palms and praying to the fat gods that they would go easy on me (every time I was disappointed. Such is life).  But beyond the scale, I was so so much healthier than before and it BLEW my mind. I awkwardly asked my doctor to print out my vitals from my heaviest weight and now just so I could take a look see. I'm sure she thinks I'm crazy, it's fine. I'm gonna try to make a chart to show it, but ya know, I suck at this whole being a real blogger thing so it might not happen... 15 minutes later...

1/3/2013	8/26/2014
234 lbs.	170 lbs.
BMI: 39.95	BMI: 29.70
Blood Pressure: 140/86	Blood Pressure: 118/82
Resting HR: 100 bpm	Resting HR: 74 bpm

I feel like that was really complicated. But all I needed to do was copy and paste. Ugh, do better Crystal..

Moving on. LOOK at those changes. I know BMI is irrelevant because they don't account for muscle mass at all, but still it's a big jump And sweet baby Jesus I didn't know my blood pressure was so high. Why didn't anyone say anything? I mean, I feel like that number is a little out of control. And that resting heart rate. Da Fuck is that? People would jokingly tell me to stop breathing so loud, but I always thought they were overreacting. But no, they obviously weren't if my heart rate when I was just sitting around was 100 bpm. I can't imagine that now! When I workout now, I usually wait for my heart rate to get below 100 bpm so I know I'm starting to cool down. Wow. It really makes you see the difference when you see it in terms of your vitals.

Next time you get your physical you should ask to see your vitals, you just might be surprised!

Also can we just chat about the Emmy's real quick? I'M PISSED. Orange Is The New Black didn't win anything and I don't understand. Was New Girl even nominated?! Where was Grey's Anatomy and Scandal?!?! WHAT ABOUT MY SHOWS DAMMIT. Ugh, do better Emmys. Do better. 

The only good part was Sara Bareilles' cover of Smile during the Memoriam section, because obviously Sara Bareilles can do NO wrong in life. Seriously. I just love her to pieces. My coworkers hate it. So I hate them.

-Crystal

Gettin the Hang of It

And worst blogger of the year goes tooooo! I'd like to thank the Academy of Bloggers for noticing that I haven't blogged in over a week, as well as my dog, boyfriend, and gym for occupying my life.

Yea, sorry bout that. I looked up and it was Friday so yea, not really sure what happened there. Awkward.

Lately I've been feeling like I'm finally getting the hang of this fitness/life/eating balance that the pros speak of. Before, I'd eat so well, and then screw it all up over the weekend with my serious froyo and vietnamese/pizza/chinese food addiction. Imagine someone with their face pressed against the glass at a froyo place...maybe licking the window. Yep thats me. Proud to say I haven't had froyo in almost 2 whole months. WOOOO LAWDY. Not sure how I've done it.

This week has been really great though. I'm in the intense/I hate running/why am I running another fucking half marathon/this is dumb phase of my half marathon training, so I'm running all the damn time. This weekend I need to run 10 miles, so yea that'll be super fun. I ran 9 miles after work on Tuesday because I just didn't have the time last weekend, and I pretty much felt like death. But I've been surviving the runs, so I guess it's alright. The boyfriend and Tiger are my greatest supporters. He sent me a text mid run with a selfie of them to encourage me, so naturally I was smiling like a loser. Plus he always lays out a towel for me to pass out on when I get home from long runs, so he's actually the best ever. Love him.

I really do credit me getting my shit together to Skinny Meg and her #SMCHALLENGE Facebook group. It is the most well organized and drama free group I've ever seen on facebook. I don't know how she did it, but there's no body shaming, no catty crazy women, only encouragement and sharing of ideas and advice. Also no cheesiness, so I'm happy about that. I can only take so much kumbaayaaaa before I start to barf. It keeps us on our toes since there's always little pop up challenges with prizes and weekend challenges. With crap like this happening in my office on the regular...I need all the help all I can get. 

Doing so well led toooo me finally getting out of the 170s!! I've been in the 170s for close to a freakin year now. I know part of it is my fault with my eating and getting a little tooooo comfy, but I also know that I've focused more on weight lifting lately instead of cardio, so I figured weight wouldn't come off as fast. But yes, I saw 169.4 and I squealed like a child and yelled for the boyfriend to come see hahaha. He's always so sweet to me, and one morning he even said, "good luck on the scale today! Am I allowed to say that? Is that rude?" So cute. Perhaps I'll get back on the bloggy train a bit more next week if I'm not dying of running exhaustion. Getting excited for Leon and I's vacay next weekend to va beach to see college friends!! I plan on rockin a bikini without having to suck in, and enjoying a margarita after a long month of no delicious cheat meals!

-Crystal

It's Rest Dayyy!

Guys. I've just discovered that my computer at work has access to blogger. This is a beautiful day.


Remember when I said that I gave zero fucks about what the scale said and that it didn't affect me at all? Yea, well I feel like my scale was listening in or some weirdness like that because I weighed myself the next morning FULLY expecting to see 171, and the little bitch said 173. As in, not today bitch, you've gained a pound. Obviously I didn't gain a pound overnight; I know weight fluctuates, but still it was super annoying. I got off the scale and moped around for a while and I'm not gonna lie I was a little flustered for a part of my day. Like shit man, can you just let me lose weight please and thank you? Workin my ass off over here!!

So goes to show you, don't talk shit about your scale because they'll make sure you don't like what you see the next day.

Today is my rest day and I couldn't be happier. I'm literally bouncing off the walls with joy. I'm going to try to make this an active rest day though. Fridays are for burgers in our house and we still haven't bought them, so I've convinced Leon and the dog to walk to the store with me and walk back. It's 2 miles away and 2 miles back, so no biggie I think. But for Leon I might as well have asked him to run a half marathon with me. Mind you he walks a mile to metro every morning...so I'm not sure what the big deal is. Whatever.

Only annoying part of this glorious rest day is that I'm sick. I never get sick. And if I do, I basically feel like I'm about to keel over and die. One of Leon's coworkers got him sick and he brought the little gem of a cold home with him. Super. I'm supposed to run 9 miles tomorrow for half marathon training, and right now that's not lookin so good. We'll see what happens!


Also also, thanks for your advice on how to quit my part time job. You guys are right, at the end of the day my boss shouldn't take it personal that I'm leaving, and if she does, its not really my problem. Sorrynotsorry boss lady.

Have a good weekend friends! Do something crazy. And look at this cutie too.

 

Later friends!

-Crystal

Conversations with my Scale

Oh hey!

Sorry, I didn't really have much to say so I figured it's better to not force a post. Because then people start to hate you; am I right, or am I right? Yea. Exactly.

Life has been a wee bit on the busy side of things lately. I've been kicking my workouts and eating in the ass. This is a partial reason why blogging has gone on the backburner. I get home at 5:30, wait for Leon to get home at 6ish so Tiger doesn't have to chill in her crate, then I go workout for an hour/hour and a half. Then come home, shower, lay on the floor complaining about how sore I am, make dinner, eat dinner, watch tv then I'm ready to go to bed around 10:30. So yea. Sorry bout that folks. I've also lost my freakin mind added two-a-days on Thursdays so that's been super fun...Morning body pump and evening bootcamp make for a super sore day.

I'm just so determined to get in the 160s within the next week, so I'm super focused right now. I know I shouldn't get crazy over the scale, but I really don't have a sketchy obsessive relationship with it, so I do what I want. This is how things go when I weigh myself:

Me: Alright lil bitch show me what I wanna see..
Scale: Yea ok bitch, I saw that brownie..
Me: Whatever, it fit my macros you asshat.
Scale: Ok fine. *Number*

If I like what I see: Yeaaaa girlllll, look at that shit, mama's gettin skinnayyyy!!!
If I don't like: *gives the scale the finger* Well ain't that some shit. Whatever you don't know my life man!

Seriously. I have conversations with my scale. My boyfriend frequently asks who I'm talking to when I'm in there. Shit I'm really losing it.

In other news, I've decided to quit my part time job. For one, I'm tired of losing my Saturdays to a freakin job that I don't even truly enjoy/need anymore. Yea the extra $50-100 is nice and comes in handy sometimes, but I'm missing out on making memories with Leon and Tiger in our first place together since I only work Saturdays 8-2 there. And that is not ok in my book. There's so much to do in this area, and by the time I get off work I'm tired and don't feel like going out. Also I miss morning cuddles and it's literally depressing. Yes the dog sleeps with us. Yes it does make life awkward when...ya know. Lil bitch goes in her crate when necessary. Moving on.

Ok I need help. I'm probably the most loyal employee in America. I've never quit a job besides one, and they saw it coming because that ish was getting out of hand/horrible managed. Besides that I've only ever quit to go back to school so it was always understood at the time of hiring. So, how in the hell do you quit a job? I know this sounds like common knowledge, but I don't want to hurt my boss's feelings or make it sound like I'm a brat for not wanting to work on Saturdays anymore. HELP.

That's all friends. Help a sista out.

-Crystal

Non Scale motherlovin VICTORY.

Friends. I have a story to tell.

So my company has a suite at FedEx Field (Redskins home field for you non NOVA folks) so we all went to the preseason opener and could bring a guest. I brought Leon because he's a diehard Redskins fan and he'd never been to a game before. So yea, hell of a first game experience to have. The suite is bad ass. All the food. All the drinks. All the comfy seats. Pretty sweet view too.

(This is from the soccer game we went to, but whatever. Same view.)

I've never been a huge football fan, I'm more so there for the socialization and watching my coworkers get drunk part. I haven't been with the company for too long yet, so I'm not exactly comfy drinking with these folks yet. I mean, I'm only 22 so ya girl is still all about drinking to get drunk (unless its casual hanging out/dinner with my amigos) and noooobody needs to see that. That makes me sound like a dumb college student, and I'm ok with it. No shame my friends!

There was food galore. They had pulled pork sandwiches, grilled chicken tenders, fried chicken tenders, deli sandwiches, cheese platters, coleslaw, and bar snacks. I planned my meals during the day to be a bit lighter because I wasn't sure what all would be at the game. Needless to say, I stuck to the grilled chicken tenders and a little coleslaw. And then everyone ate the grilled chicken tenders and I was not a happy camper. So what is a girl to do in this situation? Pick the breading off of the fried tenders of course. I looked like a freak and that's perfectly fine. 

Later on the catering staff brought in dessert. Sweet mother of pearl it was heavenly looking. The cake was like 3-4 layers, with peanut butter mousse in between layers, and a freakin brownie piece on top of each slice. WHY. WHY. WHY. Plus the cookies and brownies on the other plate. 

And guess what. I didn't eat ANY of it!! You bet your ass I stood around it and drooled over it. My coworkers kept trying to pressure me into having a piece, saying all the typical lines. "It's only one piece!" "One piece won't break your diet!" "You need to live a little!" "You're being silly, it's just a small bite!" Bitch pleaseeeee. I know myself. I know that one piece leads to two pieces. Sure if I knew I could control myself around cake better it'd be no issue. But obviously overeating is an issue for me, so no pressure please and thanks. Also, if I wanted to eat the cake I would. I choose when I indulge. Not you, silly coworker friends.

All of this was perfectly fine though, because ya girl managed to sneak a Questbar into the stadium like a little criminal. I was quite pleased with myself. I just stuck it down my pants since I'm pretty sure no one was gonna feel around near my lady bits lookin for a gun. 

Afterwards, we got home around 10:30 and I busted out 2 youtube videos because I slept through the 6am body pump class on accident. Woops. I even got Leon to video me doing some of the exercises for an Instagram post! Such a good boyfriend/he doesn't wanna hear me bitch and complain! No excuses here!

I'm feelin good lately, and I'm so freakin proud of myself for not indulging at the game PLUS working out afterwards! If that's not a NSV, I don't know what is!

-Crystal

Mary Magdalene is not the Virgin Mary?!

Humpin right along here...

Linking Up with Kat at Vodka and Soda again because she's hilarious and there's some things ya girl needs to get off her chest.

I confess that I had NO FREAKIN IDEA that Mary Magdalene and the Virgin Mary weren't the same person. I'm not a religious person at all, so I'm not even trying to offend anyone or come off as super dumb or ignorant, I honestly had no idea. My coworker and I were talking about something having to do with immaculate conception, and I said that I could totally do that, just like Mary Magdalene. And she just stared at me. So naturally, I'm like, what did I say wrong...? Apparently one is a whore and one is the mother of Jesus. So yea, I can see the issue with confusing the two. But ok, who in the world named those two the SAME name?? Shock and awe, my friends. My face.

The other night I was feeling extra snacky and I knew that the next day would be a long one/I would come home lookin for snacks I shouldn't eat. So what does any normal person do? They get up after they've already gone to bed and throw out two bags of tortilla chips and the half empty jar of salsa. I know I'm a freak. Judge me. The absolutely WEIRD part of this is that the next day after I got home from the gym, the chips were back on top of the fridge. So my beloved boyfriend must have taken them out. Ugh, fatty.

I had a really awkward moment when I went to get my hair done. Premise: my stylist recommended I start taking biotin to help my hair grow after a mishap with a previous stylist that left my hair falling out in places. Long story short, she didn't wash out a chemical all the way, so the chemicals ate away at my hair. Ugh, life. ANYWHO. New amazing stylist said, "so have you had to start shaving more now that you've been taking the biotin?" And I got all wide eyed like 

I genuinely thought she meant, ahem, The Netherlands...down yonder, because biotin makes hair grow everywhere. And it grows very thick. This is fantastic for the hair on your head. Other places, not so much. She kept talking and it was obvious that she was talking about my legs, but my legs don't really grow hair much so I didn't know! Ugh, sheesh I have mush for a brain.

Lastly, I bought this sweet little thing last week with a giftcard I won at the company bonding outing (we went bowling and it was AMAZING.)! My confession has to do with the fact that I seriously only run races for the medals now, and so that I can hang those suckers up on my new display. #sorrynotsorry. Running races actually sucks most times. You're probably gonna be around the same people most of the time, so you're probably gonna be secretly competing against them/hating them the whole time. For my first 10k there was a literal 90 year old man who I could not pass and it just pissed me off the whole time. So once you're past the sucky running you get a medal and take some pics for Instagram and it makes it pretty much worth it. Does this make me vain? Don't answer that.

Time for bed because I'm dying from my workout today. 

-Crystal

Today was a day

Sweet 6 lb. 3 oz. baby Jesus today was a freakin DAY.

Lately Tiger has been super moody in the mornings, typical drama queen. She doesn't like to be bothered when she wakes up, unless its me bothering her. She also doesn't like anyone to bother me..not sure what that's about. Leon tried to wake me up by smacking my ass, and she full on growled at him like I was her damn puppy. And then the little whore had the nerve to be scared when Leon tried to make her go eat her breakfast! Usually when she hears her food she is movin like she hasn't eaten in 10 days, but today she just stood next to me like Leon was about to feed her crack. She wouldn't leave my side so he picked her up and the little bitch peed all over the damn carpet. She almost got fed to the raccoon that hangs out behind the apartments this morning..Ohh that face though..

All of this before 7:30 am. I cannot deal.

Get to work wearing my new cute shirt from Forever 21 and of course I snag it on a damn nail that's sticking out of the wall and put a hole in my shirt. WHERE did that nail even come from?!?! So I'm cursin up a storm and my boss is having a nice little chuckle. You can't tell, but it's lacey with a cami style thing underneath so its the lace that snagged. Ugh, life.

AND THEN

I scratched my ear, ya know, just casually itching and I almost rip my whole ear off with my long ass nails (I've been taking biotin to help my hair grow..that's another story..) so now I have a hole in my shirt and my ear is bleeding/scabbed over/looks like I was mauled by a bear.

It is possible that I'm being a wee bit dramatic.


Moving on to the weekend. Yea I'm doing things backwards but whatever.

On Saturday morning I did my long run for the week for half marathon training, which was 7 miles. It went really really well, and made me feel more confident about the race, ya know since I'm running it by my lonesome. My splits were preeeeetty even for the most part. Not sure what happened at mile 5? Weird.

After the run I wanted to die/eat all of the food in sight, but I had to get movin because I was heading to Richmond for a sorority sister's birthday! I got to see some sisters I haven't seen in a while and catch up so it was definitely a good time. Plus I've never been out in Richmond, so it was new for me!

Love her.

-Crystal