Thursday, January 30, 2014

My Weight Loss Story: The Beginning.

Yea I know I said tomorrow, like 3 days ago. But I do what I want. By 'I do what I want', I mean I get home from the gym at 8, make dinner, and pass out, so I don't have a suuuuper big amount of extra time. Back to the program. My weight loss story. This might be a tad bit long, but again, I do what I want.

I didn't start to notice my weight until 5th grade. That's when my tits grew like weeds while all my friends were still flatty pancakes. I knew I was taller and chubbier than my friends, but who cares when you're in 5th grade? No one. Besides the weirdos who are running like 5 minute miles when you're like 10 years old. Freaks. I'm pretending to try trying to find pictures of that time, with no luck so far. Sorry not sorry, folks.

Moving on to high school, my weight actually wasn't that big of a deal to me because I danced a LOT. I took ballet, jazz, and contemporary, probably 3-4 times a week for 2 hours each time. I didn't gain weight, but I wasn't losing either. My clothes still fit so I didn't care.

Cut to senior year of high school. Shit got real. Real fast.

I was in a really emotionally abusive relationship and I most definitely used food to cope. He would say horrible things about me; that I was fat, ugly, no one would ever want me.. you name it, he probably said it. I don't know why I stuck with him, probably because I thought he was the best I could get, and he was my first boyfriend. Fall of senior year I was lookin hefty, but my clothes still fit, (snug, but I thought it was cute. WTF Crystal..) so again, I didn't care.

lol yea. that happened.

Moving on. Spring of senior year, I got my shit together and pretended attempted to lose weight. Summer before college it finally clicked and I lost 15 pounds ditched the lame ass boyfriend, and looked pretty damn good for the first day of college. 

not incredibly smaller, but definitely smaller.

I was the typical freshman in college. Partied all the time, ate complete shit all the time, and slept all the time. Fortunately, I had friends who were tiiiiny, and wanted to keep up their figure, so we went to the gym a lot. I didn't start seriously gaining until sophomore year. I joined a sorority (best decision EVER), so i gained a ton of new sisters, and lemme tell ya, my sisters and I looooved to eat. Making new letters? Let's eat. New sisters to bond with? Let's eat. Studying late at night in the library? Let's get some food first. Now some of them could eat and not gain a million pounds. Me? I gained 50 pounds in college. 50 motherlovin pounds. Shit ain't cute. 
fall sophomore year
fall of junior year 
fall of senior year

Looking back, I look rulllll swollen. Honestly, I was never self conscious during college. I'm glad for that. I was never worried that I looked fat, or that my clothes didn't look right. I was always confident about the way I looked. I just wore a loooot of yoga pants and hoodies hahaha. Unconsciously, I think I knew that my real clothes didn't fit, so I saved jeans for necessity only kinda things. I graduated in the winter of 2013, and come January, I had had enough. 

I think I'll save that for next time. This has gotten a lot longer than I thought!

Later, lovers.


Monday, January 27, 2014

Low key weekend, and by low key I mostly hungover.

So this weekend was pretty stellar. Friday night I went to the gym and then sat on my ass in front of the tv with my dog and boyfriend, because that's what young and vivacious 22 year olds do, dammit. I promise I'm actually not that boring..ugh. I'm not convincing you. Whatever. Moving on.

I worked at doggy daycare Saturday morning - always a treat/clusterfuck. No dog fights or crazy customers, so I'll call it a treat this time. It was especially treatful because demon baby, Tiger didn't come with me this time. She has the really bad aggression issue where she randomly attacks other dogs. So she doesn't exactly get to come with me all the time.. yea.

Saturday night rolled around and I had plans to go out with the gal pals for one of their birthdays. I've been friends with the same group of girls since 7th grade and can honestly say we're all still super close and actually like each other. Weird, right? Well, it was Maggie's celebration so we hit up DC with our man friends and got wild. There are no actual photographic documentations of the actual wildness, but trust me, it was a good night. I at least have some before pics.

lol jk, that's all I have. Apparently I only took a few with my own phone. Such is life.

Tried to hit up this amaaaazing food place called Avocado Cafe afterwards, and of course my GPS is like, bitch go home you don't need food. Asshole. So I had to resort to a 711 hotdog in my drunken stupor. And even then I didn't get the hot dog I wanted.. first world problem? Probably. DON'T CARE. Woke up the next day, felt like death warmed over, soooo I slept till 12:30. no regrets, folks, no regrets.

I had a big ole sub and slept the rest of the day....till the Grammys! Duh. You think I'd miss my girl Sara Bareilles performing? Um, no. She did amazing, per usual. Went to sleep wayyyy past this girl's bedtime and regretted this morning. I survived though. That's all that matters. Didn't weigh myself this morning though, because hotdogs. And alcohol. And cookie cake? Yea.. that would've been ugly.

Which reminds me, my weight loss story comin tomorrowww! Oh shit!

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Good news, I'm actually not dead. This week has been cah-razy with my temp job, my part time job, and ya know, trying to live an stuff. But! I realized somethin, I haven't even told you kind folks about myself.

Way to go, doofus.

H'okay. My name is Crystal.

I've got a dog named, Tiger and a boyfriend named Leon. She is commonly referred to as "demon baby". He is commonly referred to as "the boyfriend".

We're a good lookin bunch, I know. Anywho, I'm a recent college grad, if by recent, you mean a little over a year. Whatever. I work part time at a dog daycare, aaaand I'm currently temping at some random place as a professional bitch-work-doer. I have a passion for working out, eating healthy (most days..),dogs, netflix, hangin with the same group of friends I've had since middle school, and harassing my boyfriend. I think that about sums me up. 

About the doggy: Her name is Tiger because she's brindle. duh. I got her from a family member over the summer of 2013, and I love that little psychopath to death. She wasn't very socialized when I got her, so I took her to the daycare I work at, aaaand it turns out she has fear aggression. She's nervous around dogs so she lashes out aggressively. Fabulous, right? No. It is not. Can't take demon baby on walks around other dogs because people think I'm hoarding a killer in my house. Whatever, still love her.

About the boyfriend: He's pretty spectacular. We met in the fall of my freshman year of college, started dating in the spring of my freshman year, broke up a couple times because college = drama, and we haven't looked back since! Still together and living in the same city, FINALLY. Our families have met and decided we need to get married soon, to which we have said, "Can you guys chill the fuck out? We're too young for that shit." I love him, he loves me, pretty sure we're set for now.

That smiiiiile. lawd. 

Alright, that's all I've got for you kitty kats. Have a faaaabulous weekend, dolls!


Tuesday, January 21, 2014

So, it's snowing.

As the title suggests, unless you skipped that tidbit, it is indeed snowing here in good ole NOVA (that is northern va, to you outsiders). I'm not a fan of said snow, but what can ya do. Typical VA, sunny one day, snowing the next. Whatever.

I went to work this morning, at my lovely temp job *side eye, a la Val*, and by 12:30 they let us go home, thank baby Jesus. The roads weren't horrrrrible, but bad enough that mother dear wouldn't let me drive to the gym. I do not understand the words "rest day", unless my leg is broken or somethin, so I was planning on bustin out some Jillian Michaels. ugh kill me. Got all ready to work out, got on YouTube, and decided that Jillian wasn't gonna cut it today.

Cue BeFit. Seriously, this is the greatest channel for workouts on YouTube. I did the Total Body Conditioning Workouts Levels 1 and 2, and they were only 40 minutes total! Amaaaazing workout.

all dat sweat. 50 minutes including cool down. yes. please.

and the demon dog, whose name is Tiger, only chucked her bone at me twice! win win.
(more on Tiger later, folks)

All this to say, when you don't want to, or can't, get to the gym, there's always another option. Do a youtube video, find one on pinterest, anything to get movin! Not gonna lie and act like I always want to work out, because sometimes I would rather sit in my bed and watch Law & Order marathons...ok that's everyday, whatever. But you gotta do what you gotta do when you have goals. And you best believe I've got some goals. That's all lovers. Don't freeze to death, please and thanks.


Saturday, January 18, 2014

Is This Real Life?

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I say this a million times a day..usually when someone/thing has pissed me off. But today is different. I just a made a gah damn blog! Who woulda thunk it? Not I, said the fly. I've been reading other folks' blogs for a little over a year now, and then a little thought came to me...why not me?

I've lost a pretty significant amount of weight. 60 pounds - hollaaaaa
I have a pretty hilarious life (according to others, surely not myself....)
I'm 22 and I most definitely am nowhere close to having my shit together.
All of these things considered, I decided a blog was in my best interest, since lord knows I have nothing better to do..

So what's this shit even gonna be out, you ask? Well. I'd say it's gonna be lil mixxy poo of losing weight in a non douchebag-holier than thou-way, my struggle/failure in finding a full time job, my random part time job as well as my new temp job, my literal psychopath of a dog named Tiger, and general hilarity that is my family.

I plan on making this fancier with a sweet template and such, but for now, this is what you get folks. sorry bout it. sorry not sorry.

Also I like how I'm writing this as if I have an audience. It's fine, I'm ambitious. mmkay?

First post done. BOOM.