I didn't start to notice my weight until 5th grade. That's when my tits grew like weeds while all my friends were still flatty pancakes. I knew I was taller and chubbier than my friends, but who cares when you're in 5th grade? No one. Besides the weirdos who are running like 5 minute miles when you're like 10 years old. Freaks. I'm
Moving on to high school, my weight actually wasn't that big of a deal to me because I danced a LOT. I took ballet, jazz, and contemporary, probably 3-4 times a week for 2 hours each time. I didn't gain weight, but I wasn't losing either. My clothes still fit so I didn't care.
Cut to senior year of high school. Shit got real. Real fast.
I was in a really emotionally abusive relationship and I most definitely used food to cope. He would say horrible things about me; that I was fat, ugly, no one would ever want me.. you name it, he probably said it. I don't know why I stuck with him, probably because I thought he was the best I could get, and he was my first boyfriend. Fall of senior year I was lookin hefty, but my clothes still fit, (snug, but I thought it was cute. WTF Crystal..) so again, I didn't care.
lol yea. that happened.
Moving on. Spring of senior year, I got my shit together and
pretended attempted to lose weight. Summer before college it finally clicked and I lost 15 pounds ditched the lame ass boyfriend, and looked pretty damn good for the first day of college.
not incredibly smaller, but definitely smaller.
I was the typical freshman in college. Partied all the time, ate complete shit all the time, and slept all the time. Fortunately, I had friends who were tiiiiny, and wanted to keep up their figure, so we went to the gym a lot. I didn't start seriously gaining until sophomore year. I joined a sorority (best decision EVER), so i gained a ton of new sisters, and lemme tell ya, my sisters and I looooved to eat. Making new letters? Let's eat. New sisters to bond with? Let's eat. Studying late at night in the library? Let's get some food first. Now some of them could eat and not gain a million pounds. Me? I gained 50 pounds in college. 50 motherlovin pounds. Shit ain't cute.
fall sophomore year
fall of junior year
fall of senior year
Looking back, I look rulllll swollen. Honestly, I was never self conscious during college. I'm glad for that. I was never worried that I looked fat, or that my clothes didn't look right. I was always confident about the way I looked. I just wore a loooot of yoga pants and hoodies hahaha. Unconsciously, I think I knew that my real clothes didn't fit, so I saved jeans for necessity only kinda things. I graduated in the winter of 2013, and come January, I had had enough.
I think I'll save that for next time. This has gotten a lot longer than I thought!