Weight Loss Story

I didn't start to notice my weight until 5th grade. That's when my tits grew like weeds while all my friends were still flatty pancakes. I knew I was taller and chubbier than my friends, but who cares when you're in 5th grade? No one. Besides the weirdos who are running like 5 minute miles when you're like 10 years old. Freaks. I'm pretending to try trying to find pictures of that time, with no luck so far. Sorry not sorry, folks.

Moving on to high school, my weight actually wasn't that big of a deal to me because I danced a LOT. I took ballet, jazz, and contemporary, probably 3-4 times a week for 2 hours each time. I didn't gain weight, but I wasn't losing either. My clothes still fit so I didn't care.

Cut to senior year of high school. Shit got real. Real fast.

I was in a really emotionally abusive relationship and I most definitely used food to cope. He would say horrible things about me; that I was fat, ugly, no one would ever want me.. you name it, he probably said it. I don't know why I stuck with him, probably because I thought he was the best I could get, and he was my first boyfriend. Fall of senior year I was lookin hefty, but my clothes still fit, (snug, but I thought it was cute. WTF Crystal..) so again, I didn't care.

lol yea. that happened.

Moving on. Spring of senior year, I got my shit together and pretended attempted to lose weight. Summer before college it finally clicked and I lost 15 pounds ditched the lame ass boyfriend, and looked pretty damn good for the first day of college. 

not incredibly smaller, but definitely smaller.

I was the typical freshman in college. Partied all the time, ate complete shit all the time, and slept all the time. Fortunately, I had friends who were tiiiiny, and wanted to keep up their figure, so we went to the gym a lot. I didn't start seriously gaining until sophomore year. I joined a sorority (best decision EVER), so i gained a ton of new sisters, and lemme tell ya, my sisters and I looooved to eat. Making new letters? Let's eat. New sisters to bond with? Let's eat. Studying late at night in the library? Let's get some food first. Now some of them could eat and not gain a million pounds. Me? I gained 50 pounds in college. 50 motherlovin pounds. Shit ain't cute. 

fall sophomore year

fall of junior year 

fall of senior year

Looking back, I look rulllll swollen. Honestly, I was never self conscious during college. I'm glad for that. I was never worried that I looked fat, or that my clothes didn't look right. I was always confident about the way I looked. I just wore a loooot of yoga pants and hoodies hahaha. Unconsciously, I think I knew that my real clothes didn't fit, so I saved jeans for necessity only kinda things. I graduated in the winter of 2013, and come January, I had had enough. 

That dress was mighty snug, and I didn't even really want to wear it. But it was pretty much the only dressy thing I owned that still fit. womp womp. (Me and Mama Bear)

Back to the story. I graduated a semester early, said my goodbyes to my sorority sisters and friends, packed my shit and moved back home to Northern VA. Le sigh.. Now came the time for job interviews galore and following house rules again.. *side eye*. I went shopping with my mom to get some dress pants for said interviews and then came my moment of rock bottom clarity. I was in the dressing room trying on size 16 pants, a size that I'd pretty much gotten used to. Pulled those suckers up, and they didn't fit. I was literally breaking a sweat trying on clothes, which is absurd, and the little fuckers didn't even fit. Had to be a mistake, right? Wrong. I tried on 4 different size 16 pants, and none fit. I was on the verge of tears when I walked in, but now I was in full on bawling my eyes out mode. Mom brought me a size 18, and whadda ya know, the little bitch fit like a glove.

I was ashamed, I was embarrassed, and most of all I was in shock. How the FUCK did I let myself get that big? And when did it happen?! And why were my precious 16s not fitting?! I felt safe in a size 16. I had worn it for a year, and hadn't had to go up, so in my delusional mind, I was ok. NOT OK. At the end of the day I still needed pants, so we bought the size 18s. I cried the whole time in the line, like a toddler, while my mom hugged me. I'm sure I looked like a hot ass mess.

I woke up the next day and decided that I didn't ever want to feel like that again, and I never wanted to cry in a fitting room again, so I was going to make some changes. Simple as that. You know on that show about drug addiction, Intervention, when they say the addict has to hit rock bottom to want to change? Well my shopping experience was my rock bottom.

I downloaded both the C25K app and Myfitnesspal (skinnycrystal73 - add me!) from Apple, and got my ass outside. Now, let me tell ya, I had NO DESIRE to run. At all. Ever. The only thing that got me to do it was that I figured running would help me lose weight the fastest. That's it. I got my butt outside 4 days a week, doing whatever my phone told me to do for distances/times. I changed my diet completely and cut out all overly processed food and recorded every single thing I ate into Myfitnesspal. That thing is a lifesaver and is so so easy to use. My diet has changed a lot in regards to how much I eat, but in terms of what I eat, it's about the same. I stick to steamed/sauteed vegetables, whole grain carbs, some fats, and lean protein. That about sums it up food wise.

I promised myself that if I could stick to it and lose 30 pounds on my own, then I would buy myself a gym membership. I kept that promise. In April 2013 I bought my own gym membership, 3 months after beginning my journey. I signed up for my first 5k with my sorority sisters to make sure I had a goal to work towards, and just kept truckin along. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing in the gym, so I stuck to the classes offered. I dabbled in zumba, kickboxing, body pump (my absolute FAVORITE), spin, and bootcamp, before settling into a nice routine alternating between all of them. These classes, along with 5k training helped me to lose another 20 pounds over the next 5 months..

This was when I had lost around 50ish pounds. The weight in my legs was taking FOREVERRR to lose, so I was pumped when my size 16 shorts were finally too big.

So here we are, present day weight loss journey.

I'm more dedicated than ever. The holidays were a definite challenge, but honestly nothing intense. I just kept telling myself, "progress not perfection". I enjoyed myself and ate everything I wanted to, but I also worked out every single day, and ate only in moderation. No more eating just because it was on my plate, or finishing the last bite of pie just because. I've got goals, and none of them include professional pie eater. Mmmkay?

Moving on, I've been lifting heavy weights for aboutttt 6 or 7 months now. So obviously, nothing super intense, but I'm seeing legit changes in my body that are making me happy as shit. DO NOT believe that "you'll get bulky" or "you'll get manly" shit. If anything, you'll get sexy ass curves and look smaller than you really are, because muscle takes up less space than fatty mcfat does. Case in point: I've been around the same weight, give or take 4 pounds for about 4 months now. BUT, within those 4 months I've gone down a whole pants size, and 2 dress sizes. Say whaaaaat?!?! Yes. That shit is true. Why? Because I lift weights. Lots of weights. I go to body pump class once a week and lift even heavier for a straight hour. I don't do measly little 2 pound weights, because that will do nothing. I'm gaining lean muscle, and its taking up space instead of fat. And because muscle takes up less space, but weighs more.....I'm looking smaller but the scale isn't moving. And I'm ok with that! I'll gladly take a size 8 dress over lifting 2 pound weights any day, thank you very much.

I feel like a bad ass when I can leg press more than I weigh (and more than some men). I feel like a bad ass when I can squat triple what other people squat in body pump. I feel like a bad ass when I can walk into the weight room as the only woman, and be completely comfortable. Back up boys. Bitches get shit done. And no, I do not need your help loading the squat rack. Thankyaverymuch.

My goals as of now are to lose about 20 more pounds, gain crazy muscles, run a half marathon (coming up in March! Rock n Roll Half in DC!), and become a body pump instructor. Yea. Big dreams.

and that's what I say to that.

Go after those dreams. It's possible. All it takes is a single moment of being tired of the way things are going. 

234 to 172. size 18 to size 8-10.

Anything is possible my friends.