The Dreadful Search for Bathing Suits and Work News!

Ok first of all, I hate calling them "bathing suits"...I feel like a 90 year old grandmother. So I called them bikinis. But when I was bigger, I hated calling them that too, for fear that someone would be like, "bitch please you do NOT need to be wearing a bikini." I mean, no one ever did, but that's the way my brain works. Because I'm crazy.

Anyways. So the other day I went to Target to look for a bikini, because I feel like I'm finally in a weight range where that ish will look good on me, without me fearing that a boob will fall out, or my ass is too big (not cute big, my friends). Everything is lookin super cute and then I reached my hand out to touch the top to asess the padding...

GOOD LORD. I have never felt so much padding in a large top in my life. I mean, if you're wearing a large or extra large bikini top, there is absolutely no need for padding. My tits are big enough without padding, uh thank you very much. I do not want my lady bits chillin up in my chin, suffocating me. I was instantly flustered after feelin up the boob area of about 10 tops. I gave up and bought a purse. Classic Target.

In other news, I was supposed to have my last day at my temp job on Friday. Low and behold, the girl who really has this job, QUIT. Say whaaaaaat! Yea. So now, I'm freakin out because they might hire me full time! My boss emailed me and said we'll talk about full time possibilities this week so I'm pretty excited. I know I bitch and complain about my job a lot, but at the end of the day, ya girl is poor. I'll take anything right now. I will most definitely holla fo a dolla, and by holla I mean do pointless admin bullshit.

Sorry for the lack of pictures?
Woops.

-Crystal

Cricket, Cricket

Oh hello there, is this still my blog? Sorry about the whole, haven't blogged in 10 days thing. Life got in the way. Majorly. A lot has happened! I mean, nothing super intense, but you know, stuff. I'll just do a recap of the big things I guess? Yea.

1. I ran my first timed 10k race last weekend! (A 10k is 6.2 miles my friends) I ran it with my friend Becca - we're also doing the half marathon together. The race description said "super flat and great for a PR". Well, they lied. Literally half a mile in, and theres a BIG ASS HILL. Needless to say, I was cursing under my breath and getting some stares. I do not like hills. Also have I mentioned that it was a balmy 23 degrees out? And people were wearing shorts?! Not I. I was rockin some ear warmers, under armour cold gear tights, and an under armour hoodie, and gloves. I do not play with the cold.

2. I got my shirt in from Ruffles With Love! I absolutely adore it. You should go order one. Or five. Whatever. It says "13 point freaking 1" and you bet your ass I'll be wearin this beauty on half marathon day. Even if it's cold. I'll just wear some under armour underneath if I have to..Ignore my messy room. kthanks.

3. I went to see my gal pals this weekend for a little reunion lovin. One of my friends goes to VaTech so we all went down (up? over? I don't know.) and did some hiking on Saturday morning! We hiked 8.3 miles (roundtrip) up McAfee's Knob in and it was absolutely gorgeous. Even though I was sore in places that I didn't know existed, it was well worth the hike. And we ate at an aaaaamazing southern restaurant afterwards, where I inhaled at least 3,000 calories, so yea, it was a good day.

4. I had a pretty wonderful NSV (non scale victory) this week that tickled my heart. I was sitting at the temp job from hell just workin casually, and I went to cross my legs just because ya know, girls do that sometimes. Now, when I was bigger, I couldn't do that and my leg would just kinda fall like my leg was saying, "LOL cute idea, but no, not happening". But this time my leg stayed there. It stayed on top of my other leg without me pulling a muscle trying to force it. I even have proof. 

Yes my dress is short, sorrynotsorry, just trying to will spring along a little faster.

5. I got home today from VaTech and good lawd I missed my dog. I've been snuggling with her all evening. And by snuggling, I mean trapping her in hugs while she tries to get away. It's fine. This is the closest I got without getting a death stare.

I promise she really does love me.

I'm really going to try to organize my time better so I can actually keep up with this little blog thang for my whole 5 people that read this.

Later kids,

Crystal

Fifth & Mae love

So basically I don't know what to talk about today because I'm focusing on more important things, such as the Law & Order SVU Marathon that is gracing my television.

I wanna fill you folks in on a hidden gem of the internets. Fifth & Mae. I love this website with my whole entire heart. I spend way too much money there and the quality of the jewelry is amazing. Have I mentioned that this shiz is CHEAP?! Let's be real, ya girl is still on a struggle street budget, so it's pretty amazing when I can spend my chump change on some nice jewelry. This is everything I own from the little shop:

I just bought another necklace from a flash sale they did, and I have a pair of leggings from them around here somewhere.... and of course I can't find the other pair of earrings I got from there. As you can see, I have a problem when it comes to Fifth & Mae. Best customer service, best jewelry, best quality, best prices - what's not to love?

Do yourself a favor and go raid the selection. Now. Like them on facebook too, because sometimes they do flash sales to clear out inventory and I've seen things as low as $1.50. Yea. You're welcome.

Fifth & Mae

*I wasn't paid to say this stuff, I just genuinely am obsessed with them.

-Crystal

Weekend recap.

Sup suckas.

Sorry, that was rude. This weekend has been pretty workout filled. I had yesterday off, thank baby jesus. I'm super grateful to have a full time (temp) job and a part time job, but sometimes ya girl needs a day to BREATHE. 

Saturday morning I dragged my friend Becca to this workout bootcamp with me. It was in DC and was organized by Balance Gym and Krissy Mae Cagney. Balance Gym was super intense and had everything you could ever imagine in a gym. Pool, cardio machines, strength training, and a freakin crossfit box. Da fuck? And it's in the bottom of a hotel. So much happening. And Krissy Mae Cagney, otherwise known as KMae, is a freakin beast. I've followed her on instagram for a while now, and she's just incredible. I can't even put an exact name on what she does. She inspires, trains like a beast, online coaches and trains folks looking to be badass...all that goodness. So when I saw she was coming to DC, you better believe I signed up for that bootcamp rull fast. My old coworker Jessica also went, and it was so good seeing her! We worked together aboutttt 5 years ago, when I had my first job at Forever 21 (barf). Anyways, the bootcamp was brutal. It was crossfit style, so lots of burpees, lunges, pullups, push presses, ball slams...yea. Needless to say, I was dead sore this morning.

Ashlynn (helped me tremendously with my baby pull ups) myself, Krissy Mae

Afterwards, Becca and I debated doing our 10 mile run (we're training for a half! More on that tomorrow...) aaaand we decided on 'mmm fuck no'. So yea. I went home, ate pho with the boyfriend, and sat on my ass the rest of the day. And I'm ok with that.

This morning I had bodypump on the menu. But first, I got in some Sunday snuggles with this cutie. Tiger is a handful, but she knows I'm a sucker for her morning kisses and lovin. Ugh that face. I cannot deal.

Moving on, got my ass up for some body pump, or as my boyfriend calls it, "booty pump". Weirdo. I can honestly say that this class is the highlight of my week. It's a muscular endurance kinda class, based around barbells and dumbbells. The best part is, you can tailor it to whatever weight is best for you. You can load up the bar if you're up for the challenge, or keep it light if you think you might die/drop the bar on your face... yea. I was trying to be a super sleuth and get a picture, but the class was packed and I looked like a freak. So this is all I got. 

yea it's the wrong angle, sorry bout it. just turn your head. it's fine.

We had the body pump challenge, which basically means to up your weight for each music track (corresponds to different muscle group) so naturally I was dying from yesterday's workout, plus today's challenge. I still did it though, because uhh I cannot look bad in bodypump when I'm already one of the youngest people in there. Gotta represent for my age group. Not to say that everyone is old, but let's be real, not many people my age are heading to group exercise classes. People my age are stuck on the elliptical/treadmill reading Cosmo. But I digress. Great class per usual, chatted it up with Monica, the instructor afterwards about me wanting to become an instructor, all the training for it and all that jazz. Cue sweaty palms... The training seems super daunting and challenging but I'm used to memorizing choreography and routines from my years of dance when I was in middle school/highschool so I'm excited. 

I had to work at the part time job today, so I got my dog lovin fix. Tiger didn't kill anyone while we were there, so I'd say it was a successful day at dog daycare for us. Heading to bed now, gotta get to the full time in the morning! Only 2 more weeks of this temp job..maybe they'll offer me real position!? Not. Whatever.

Later kids.

-Crystal

My Weight Loss Story: Today!

So here we are, present day weight loss journey.

I'm more dedicated than ever. The holidays were a definite challenge, but honestly nothing intense. I just kept telling myself, "progress not perfection". I enjoyed myself and ate everything I wanted to, but I also worked out every single day, and ate only in moderation. No more eating just because it was on my plate, or finishing the last bite of pie just because. I've got goals, and none of them include professional pie eater. Mmmkay?

Moving on, I've been lifting heavy weights for aboutttt 6 or 7 months now. So obviously, nothing super intense, but I'm seeing legit changes in my body that are making me happy as shit. DO NOT believe that "you'll get bulky" or "you'll get manly" shit. If anything, you'll get sexy ass curves and look smaller than you really are, because muscle takes up less space than fatty mcfat does. Case in point: I've been around the same weight, give or take 4 pounds for about 4 months now. BUT, within those 4 months I've gone down a whole pants size, and 2 dress sizes. Say whaaaaat?!?! Yes. That shit is true. Why? Because I lift weights. Lots of weights. I go to body pump class once a week and lift even heavier for a straight hour. I don't do measly little 2 pound weights, because that will do nothing. I'm gaining lean muscle, and its taking up space instead of fat. And because muscle takes up less space, but weighs more.....I'm looking smaller but the scale isn't moving. And I'm ok with that! I'll gladly take a size 8 dress over lifting 2 pound weights any day, thank you very much.

I feel like a bad ass when I can leg press more than I weigh (and more than some men). I feel like a bad ass when I can squat triple what other people squat in body pump. I feel like a bad ass when I can walk into the weight room as the only woman, and be completely comfortable. Back up boys. Bitches get shit done. And no, I do not need your help loading the squat rack. Thankyaverymuch.

My goals as of now are to lose about 20 more pounds, gain crazy muscles, run a half marathon (coming up in March! Rock n Roll Half in DC!), and become a body pump instructor. Yea. Big dreams.

and that's what I say to that.

Go after those dreams. It's possible. All it takes is a single moment of being tired of the way things are going. 

234 to 172. size 18 to size 8-10.

Anything is possible my friends.

My Weight Loss Story: The Middle..

Oh helloooo,

Let's see where I left off. Ah yes, college graduation.

That dress was mighty snug, and I didn't even really want to wear it. But it was pretty much the only dressy thing I owned that still fit. womp womp. (Me and Mama Bear)

Back to the story. I graduated a semester early, said my goodbyes to my sorority sisters and friends, packed my shit and moved back home to Northern VA. Le sigh.. Now came the time for job interviews galore and following house rules again.. *side eye*. I went shopping with my mom to get some dress pants for said interviews and then came my moment of rock bottom clarity. I was in the dressing room trying on size 16 pants, a size that I'd pretty much gotten used to. Pulled those suckers up, and they didn't fit. I was literally breaking a sweat trying on clothes, which is absurd, and the little fuckers didn't even fit. Had to be a mistake, right? Wrong. I tried on 4 different size 16 pants, and none fit. I was on the verge of tears when I walked in, but now I was in full on bawling my eyes out mode. Mom brought me a size 18, and whadda ya know, the little bitch fit like a glove.

I was ashamed, I was embarrassed, and most of all I was in shock. How the FUCK did I let myself get that big? And when did it happen?! And why were my precious 16s not fitting?! I felt safe in a size 16. I had worn it for a year, and hadn't had to go up, so in my delusional mind, I was ok. NOT OK. At the end of the day I still needed pants, so we bought the size 18s. I cried the whole time in the line, like a toddler, while my mom hugged me. I'm sure I looked like a hot ass mess.

I woke up the next day and decided that I didn't ever want to feel like that again, and I never wanted to cry in a fitting room again, so I was going to make some changes. Simple as that. You know on that show about drug addiction, Intervention, when they say the addict has to hit rock bottom to want to change? Well my shopping experience was my rock bottom.

I downloaded both the C25K app and Myfitnesspal (skinnycrystal73 - add me!) from Apple, and got my ass outside. Now, let me tell ya, I had NO DESIRE to run. At all. Ever. The only thing that got me to do it was that I figured running would help me lose weight the fastest. That's it. I got my butt outside 4 days a week, doing whatever my phone told me to do for distances/times. I changed my diet completely and cut out all overly processed food and recorded every single thing I ate into Myfitnesspal. That thing is a lifesaver and is so so easy to use. My diet has changed a lot in regards to how much I eat, but in terms of what I eat, it's about the same. I stick to steamed/sauteed vegetables, whole grain carbs, some fats, and lean protein. That about sums it up food wise.

I promised myself that if I could stick to it and lose 30 pounds on my own, then I would buy myself a gym membership. I kept that promise. In April 2013 I bought my own gym membership, 3 months after beginning my journey. I signed up for my first 5k with my sorority sisters to make sure I had a goal to work towards, and just kept truckin along. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing in the gym, so I stuck to the classes offered. I dabbled in zumba, kickboxing, body pump (my absolute FAVORITE), spin, and bootcamp, before settling into a nice routine alternating between all of them. These classes, along with 5k training helped me to lose another 20 pounds over the next 5 months..

This was when I had lost around 50ish pounds. The weight in my legs was taking FOREVERRR to lose, so I was pumped when my size 16 shorts were finally too big.

I think that's all for now. Next time we'll get into closer to where I am now, weight lifting, and future goals.
I'd forgotten how much I love to write... puttin that English degree to good use!

Adios Bitchachos.
-Crystal