My HRM and I may be breaking up.. and #SMCHALLENGE

So it's Monday and I'm currently sitting on the couch, willing myself to go outside and run sprints in the park nearby. Two problems.

1. It's hot as BALLS outside. It's 90 degrees here in Northern VA at 6 freakin pm, and I am not a fan. Just ask my boyfriend. You will see me become the biggest grouch when it's either my lady time of the month, or when it's hot outside. So I'm gonna wait till 7 and see if it chills the fuck out, out there.

2. My heart rate monitor died over the weekend. It was showing low battery for a day or so, and then I went to go for a run on Saturday morning and I saw this:

Cool. But not. Because I'm tryin to exercise here.

So I figured, maybe this is a sign? Yea, a sign to get the freakin battery changed. So I went on my run without it, obviously. And the next day for body pump, I still hadn't changed it, so again, off I went with no HRM. I'm not sure why it's such a big deal, but it really messed with my mind for like the first half of my workouts. If you don't wear a HRM that says how many calories you burned, did you really burn the calories!?!? I NEED TO KNOW. Ok let me calm down. I know I'm being absurd. 

I've had this little gem since last April and I've worn it for every single workout I've done, except for when I forgot it once. So you could say its become a staple in my workouts. I just like the validation of knowing that I did indeed work my ass off. But I take everything as a sign, because I'm a freak of nature, so for now I'll be exercising without my love...that is until I change the battery. Anyone who knows me knows that I procrastinate and forget everything though, so this could be awhile.

Moving on! I joined the #SMCHALLENGE that SkinnyMeg and Val from FabChickGetsFit are putting on! It's a private challenge group on facebook for 1500 women and it's basically a bunch of little challenges over 12 weeks to lose weight and hold each other accountable. As the world knows, I've been stuck at 175 for uhhhh forever now, and I'll blame a mixture of my eating habits not being completely on point, and my body saying 'fuck you we're done' because I'm about 20 pounds to my goal. So I'll take all the help I can get. I've prepped my food for the week and I'm steering clear of the snack closet at work. Let's see how this goes! 

Are any of you ladies apart of the challenge? The group closed after 1500, sooo if you didn't get in theres another sub group called Fit Family, that you can get to through Skinny Meg's page that won't post challenges, but is still a great source of motivation and inspiration! 

-Crystal

Macros are your friend.

I saw Skinny Meg post about how she's loving following a macro plan, and it got me to thinking about how following macros has dramatically changed everything. It really is like a miracle. Macros really brought to my attention how losing weight, and anything fitness related really, all comes down to a science. It's not all in your head, it's not the fitness Gods trying to piss you off and shit on your parade. It's science.

Go read this. Megan basically covered it all if you're feelin confused about what all of this junk is. Instead of just counting calories (which totally worked for the first 40-50 pounds, don't get me wrong) I count how many grams of protein, carbs, and fats I eat. This gives you the best of both worlds because you can tailor your diet to exactly what your body needs, while eating what you WANT. Yes you can eat complete junk to fit your macros, but you'll also quickly learn that to eat more (the former fatty in me loves this part) you should probs eat more "clean" foods to fill up your macros.

Perfect example: Yesterday at work, my boss brought in bagels for the office and I almost pooped my pants because ya girl would do some thangs for a bagel. Particularly an everything bagel. Drool.

Instead of freaking the fuck out over some bread product that is not of the whole wheat variety, I simply looked up the nutrition facts on that sucker, looked up the cream cheese that I was putting on it, and added it to my daily foods on myfitnesspal. Old Crystal would have said, nope can't eat it. It's not whole wheat. It's 270 calories. I can't. HELL YES YOU CAN. It's a give and take. If I eat this deliciousness, I will probs not have room for that sweet potato for dinner. Put your big girl panties on and make some choices. Bagel wins. Always.

Yea sometimes it sucks and things that I want don't fit into my macros, but again, I have goals and sometimes you gotta make sacrifices. Sometimes it can be really frustrating because I honest to god do not understand how I lost 50 pounds by eating whatever the hell I wanted, as long as it was in my calorie range. Sometimes I want to undo the knowledge I have now because eating in my calories was a lot easier. But I figure that the closer I get to my goal, the harder it gets, so I'm sucking it up and staying aboard the macro train, because I've seen that it works if I follow it to the T. 

So yea. Macros are fantastic and sometimes confusing when you get off the calorie train and hop on the macro train. But you should do it, because your eating doesn't have to be as strict. And former fatties know that eating is FUN.

-Crystal

Losing It Tuesday: C4 review and yesterday's workout!

Today was a really good day. It was just a big mixture of everything. I posted this picture on my Instagram and Facebook today, and got a lot of positive feedback. I've never had someone be negative, but it really makes me feel good when people I haven't talked to since high school, or people I didn't really talk to in college, congratulate me and ask how I did it/how they can get started.

The first picture is from the summer after my sophomore year of college. Losing weight wasn't even on the brain, when it ooooobviously should have been. Whatever, until you want to lose it for yourself, advice from other people falls on deaf ears. I was real deaf.

Moving on. Yesterday was leg day. I died. Like, hanging onto bathroom walls and waddling around the office today, died. My booty hurts, my hamstrings hurt, my quads hurt.

My workout consisted of

    > 10 minutes on the dreadmaster aka stairmaster, medium speed. You should have quite a bit of sweat             happening at the end of this.

    > 3x10 warm up squats. not too deep..thats what she said. sorry couldn't resist. just to loosen up your              legs a bit more

    > 4x10 squats in the squat rack. If this is too terrifying, just use a barbell! I was intimidated by the squat            rack for over a year. I usually do a set of 10, bump up the weight, and repeat till my legs are dead. 

    > 4x10 goblet squats. I'm horrible at explaining workouts, so just google them. Really, you don't want me        to try an explain.

    > 4x10 stiff leg deadlifts. These are the devil and they hurt so good. I try to bump up the weight with each        set.

    > 4x10 leg press (upping weight each set), superset with plyo switch lunges. Superset means not taking a          break between exercises. So hop off the leg press and go right into switch lunges. Yea. The devil.

    > 3x12 leg extension machine. Try turning your feet inwards, outwards, and straight to work different                parts of the quad.

    > Waddle out of gym. You're welcome.

ALSO! I got my Cellucor C4 Extreme pre-workout in the mail today. Excitement: level 10

I love it. I had some random other brand before and it made me feel super tingly all over and I wasn't a fan. This only makes you mildly tingly for like 10 minutes and then it turns to beastmode energy. I took it 20 minutes before I got the gym and I felt great. I got there ready to hulk smash some weights and that's what I did. I've never had such a good burn as I did today when I worked my shoulders. I felt like I gave it my all, and I was a happy camper. Maybe it was all in my head? Whatever, I'll take it.

After the gym, I made a protein pancake because for some reason protein shakes make me a little nauseous sometimes. Not sure what that's about..Here's my sexy pancake.

The recipe is on my Instagram if you wanna check it outttt! For those without instagram, it is:

*1 scoop protein of your choice (I used cellucor cor-fetti cake batter)

*1/4 cup (approximately) of almond milk, or enough to make the consistency you like

*1/4 teaspoon baking powder

*some cinnamon because I like the stuff

*1 egg

Mix it up and put it in a pan. Cook like a pancake. It'll get big and fluffy because of the baking powder, not dense like some protein goodies. Again, you're welcome. I topped it with 1/2 scoop protein powder mixed with some almond milk. And chocolate chips. Because chocolate.

Got any protein recipes you love?!

Later friends

-Crystal

And he said, Let There Be Internet!

I'm aliiiiiive!

We finally have internet at my mom's apartment. The cable/internet guy basically called and said, "yeaaaaa I'm gonna be busy...so yea...you'll have to wait some time.." Yea, ok sir. Perfectly fine. You never know just how much you miss internet and television until you don't have it for about 2 weeks. #FirstWorldProblems I know. Don't judge me too harshly.

I missed bloggy world. I missed the people that comment regurlary. I miss reading blogs all day in my spare time. I couldn't even read my blogs on my phone because I'd run up my data plan! So much to catch up on. Sheesh. While I catch up on all of the blogs I follow (40 blogs..I'll be reading for a while) this is my last uhhh long time, in review.

1. I signed up for another 10 mile race and another half marathon, because I obviously don't remember the pain I experienced in my right hip, and feet for the last 4 miles well enough. I'm running with one (hopefully two, yea I'm lookin at you, Kyle) of my sorority sisters who've never run a half before! It's the Woodrow Wilson Bridge Half Marathon and it's in October aaaand I'm dumb for having to train in the summer hear. The only nice thing is that running races around Northern VA/DC always makes me really grateful to live here, I mean how many people can say they've run across the Woodrow Wilson Bridge that bridges VA and MD? Uhhh not many..I think. And for my first half we ran down Capitol Street, ya know the street where the Capitol is right in front of you? Yea. 'Merica.

2. I had a good ole fashion night on the town with my very best friend in the entire world. We left our men at home, went to some townie bar that only locals who never left Manassas go to, and danced our hearts out till 3 am. And made men buy us drinks. And then we got nasty gas station food and went to sleep. I wish she didn't live 5 hours away. We've been friends since 7th grade!

super unflattering and I don't care.

3. I signed up for ANOTHER race. It's only a 5k so it's no biggie. I just really like medals..and I love Flex It Pink even more. They're an amazing company, that's owned by 2 women who want women to be empowered and to empower each other. They have virtual 5ks quite often actually, and its a little less than $30 and you get a tank/tee shirt, a medal (I love me some medals), race bib, stickers, and some other goody. Totes worth it. 

4. Got my hairs did! It was a lot nicer on Friday, but the heat and humidity ruined my curls..little bitch. Went a little darker and keeping it long for the summaaaa. I also wore my Flex Till You're Famous shirt because it makes me feel intense. Also I was walking my dog and some guy asked if I work out a lot, because it looks like I do. Although a wee bit on the creeper side, I really appreciated the compliment. Ya know when you can just tell that people are just athletic? I'm glad that someone saw that in me. Because lemme tell ya, this girl has NEVER been the athletic type. And today my size 8s were biiiit on the looser side in the waist. No complaints here my friends!

5. I saw this quote and loved it. 

Later gators. Make this week yours!

-Crystal

The Struggle Is Oh So Real.

Welp. We just moved to my mom's new apartment and we have no internet. So how am I writing this post you ask? Why yes, I am typing away on my phone. #killmenow. So this post is going to be super short and sweet. I've been struggling lately. A lot. Unforeseen circumstances that I don't particularly wanna chat about, messed up our move and delayed it aaaaand yea. So eating perfectly within my macros hasn't been possible sometimes, and sometimes I was just too stressed too eat much of anything. Both are bad. I kept up my workouts for the most part though! I went to the gym maybe 3-4 times a week for the past 2 weeks to try to ward off too much of a gain.

Everyone knows that your diet is 80% of the party though, so yea, me and the scale will not be partaking in a reunion in the near future. Hopefully my eating gets back on track because my body is freakin the fuck out. My face is breaking out like a prepubescent girl (too much greasy food), I've been getting headaches out of nowhere (too much sodium probs), and I'm cranky as hell all the damn time. This could also be attributed to Aunt Flow showin up for a visit, but I'd rather not give my boyfriend any more reason to make me feel crazy.

I'm prepping food for the next few days tomorrow, so here's to gettin my shit together after a horrible move. Also I move again in 28 days to my apartment with my boyfriend. Go ahead and shoot me. Moving twice in 30 days is for the birds.

Any tips on making moving easier? Please? I'll take any and all advice. Also any tips for making eating while moving easier? I refuse to resort to bullshit eating for my next move!

Night lovers,
Crystal

All the good and awkward things

Today's post will be about the good and awkward things that happened to me today. I hope you enjoy the weirdness.

1. Today in the gym, I was workin my back and being a badass (aka trying to look like I know what I'm doing...and probably failing, since I tried some new back machine that looked like a torture device) and some man who I've seen a couple times walks over and proceeds to say, "baby girl you killin it in here, I just wanna tell you I see the lines in your back and arms, you killin em baby girl. You look so good babygirl, keep goin." I really appreciated his compliment, that was somewhere mixed in, but WHO calls a complete stranger baby girl? Did I miss something? Is this normal? Not in my world. No.

2. My boss ordered cookies for "quality assurance" since we're going to send the same kind to a high priority customer next week (basically so he had an excuse to eat more cookies) and they looked SO GOOD. I touched the packaging on one, and they were super soft too. Good news: I smelled the cookies. Took a biiiiiiiig long whiff. Not in a creepy nose right next to the cookies kinda way, because that's gross, but close enough that I could smell the deliciousness. And then I walked away. Did you hear that? I WALKED AWAY. Yaaaaas girl. And then I broke my fork while eating my salad, so I feel like the universe was saying fuck you for not trying the cookie. Whatever, universe. I do what I want.

3. The boyfriend and I signed our lease to the new apartment! We move in baaaasically in a month. You bet your bottom dollar I've been searchin all over craigslist for cheap furniture, IKEA of course. I live and die by IKEA furniture. And people sell that ish for basically free online, sooo I'm all over that goodness. Bonus: Tiger passed her little paperwork inspection. Most apartments have breed restrictions, and all I'm gonna say about that is that Tiger doesn't look like a pure bred pit. I'll let your mind wander, on that note.

4. We had an office luncheon for my bosses birthday today. During said luncheon, we got on the topic of half marathons, marathons, and triathlons. One of my coworkers, who is super slender, SUPER healthy eater, and relatively active was making comments about how runners are very slender and it's very unusual to see runners who are short and not thin. Aaaaand cue awkward moment/armpits gettin clammy. I'm short. 5'3 and 3/4 to be exact. I'm also not thin/slender. I was 175 yesterday (sodium induced water weight and bloating can suck my non existent dick). I ran my first half marathon a couple months ago, and I fully resent her comment. It made it even more awkward that one of my other coworkers happened to do the same race, and knew that I did it too, and obviously knew that I'm not tall or slender. So I could see out of the corner of my eye that he was glancing at me to see how I'd react. I'm sure she didn't mean it to offend me, but it just came across as ignorant to say anyways. You neeever know someone's story. I could be a motherlovin triathlete betch.

5. After I got home from the gym and showered tonight, I changed into an old sorority shirt, sans bra, because who the hell wears bras when they're home? Am I right, or am I right? Of course my dog takes this time to decide that she needs to pee, nevermind the torrential downpour occurring outdoors. Since it's raining, I figure its ok to go outside without a bra, because no one should be out anyways. WRONG. I take my happy ass outside only to find that of course my neighbors have taken this time to have a little pow wow outside. So me, the dog, and my boobs are greeted by the neighbors. Ugh kill me. Please.

No pictures because pictures of any of these events would have doubled the awkward. Besides the torture device. I should've gotten a picture of that thing. If you've had a bad day, I hope this makes it better, because there are literally no explanations as to why my life is so hilariously awkward. Peace out girly scouts.

-Crystal

A Moment of Doubt

Yesterday as I was getting ready for the gym, I started to notice my legs looked differently to me. So I was pokin an proddin and ugh sweet jesus it was loose skin. I'm no stranger to the stuff, My boobs are lookin like deflated balloons, which I'm totally ok with because I'm gettin a lift on those suckers once I'm not poor, and my stomach has stretch marks and loose skin galore. But I'd always thought my legs had survived the apocalypse. So for a moment when I had my nike pro shorts on, I debated changing.

Why? In my mind I'm still a size 18 and I have no business wearing these tiny ass spandex shorts to the gym. At that size I would have neverrrrr have worn them. I seriously just started wearing cute workout clothes like 6 months ago. I convinced myself that I was crazy and went to the gym anyways. And theeeen I walked in the weight room. Usually I'm perfectly content and don't care if anyone's watching. Yesterday I was a nervous mess, like I was about to walk into a death trap. I was full on pulling at my shorts, checking mirrors, looking around all sketchily...you know, full on self conscious.

Again, I told myself to shut up and go workout. It's leg day, so I finished my dead lifts and goblet squats and head over to the squat rack. And then I noticed my shirt. My brand new shirt that I was so excited to wear, and had already forgotten to look at in the mirror.

It says, "WILD". Old Navy for 8 dollhairs. Hollaaaa!

So I'm at the squat rack and I literally said, "Hot damn. I'm wild. I'm a wild woman. Wild women are not scared of anything. Wild women don't care about loose skin on their legs. Wild women can hang with the boys in the weight room because we are bad ass mother fuckers." Naturally, the guy next to me in another squat rack is looking at me like I'm a freaking phsycopath, and he would be correct. And then I squatted the most I ever have - 130. So I guess my little pep talk worked? Finished up legs, kicked out some cardio on the stairmaster, and walked out of the gym with my head held high. 

Moral of the story: Talk to yourself, because clearly that shit works and wild women get shit done in the gym.

Also my previous pancake ass is finally growing. This is a miracle, my friends. I know it's still small, shush.

Also also, I post more on my Instagram than I do on here, soooo you should scoot on over there and follow me! 

-Crystal

Hump Day Confessions/Questions?

I've got a shmorgasborg (spelling?) of things to chit chat about, so we're doin this random style. Hope that's alright with you foks. Also I didn't do the Hump Day Confessions link up mostly because I'm lazy, but I really meant to, I swear. Next week. I promise. I feel like I'm breaking blogger laws or something...anyways,

1. I need some books to read. I just ordered Emily Giffin's, The One and Only and I'm super excited to read it. I also got Walden by Thoreau. Emily Giffin is my favorite author, besides James Frey, and I just love everything about Thoreau, so they were obvious choices. But I do want to branch out and read new things soooo suggestions are welcome please and thank you k great. This isn't a confession, obviously. I just want some books folks.

2. It's National Running Dayyy so I hope you guys got out and ran/walked/crawled/jogged. Ya know, whatever you wanna do. I tried to beat my 5k time of 29 minutes (outside running) on a treadmill and that most definitely didn't happen. I freakin hate treadmills. I get so bored, and there's only so much Food Network and Law & Order on to distract me... Nonetheless, I did finish in 29 minutes and 26 seconds, so it wasn't too bad. Confession: I looked up my past running times, and goooooood God I've gotten better. I just looked up my old times (tried to post a picture, but of course blogger decides it doesn't wanna let me do that right now..asshats.) and the first time I ran (lol more like walk/jog) it took me 40 minutes. That's crazy right? Right. So I'll stop my complaining about 29 minutes now.

3. I'm making my Instagram more fitness related and I'm kind of nervous about it, ya know? It started out as just a regular page with mostly college friends and a sprinkle of home friends. Now there's a lot of people I don't know following me and I honestly would like to post more fitness stuff with a mix of my real life, but I don't want to turn my real friends away... is this making sense or am I talking in circles? Ugh.


4. I get really bitter when I see some of my favorite fitness accounts on IG all of a sudden becoming beach body coaches. Like god damn, how many beach body coaches does the world need? I like to follow people who are normal, got off my ass one day and did the damn thing kinda folks. Probably because that's what I did and it reassures me that this is totally doable and that I should stop complaining. But it just frustrates me when people become beach body coaches and sell people these shakes an shit that they do not need. Yes I understand some people use it to get started and to get the motivation going, but hey, just my opinion. Instead of spending hundreds of dollhairs on shakes, you could do some research and go buy some groceries and get the same if not longer lasting results. Who wants to buy shakes forever? Not I, said the fly. Rant over.

5. It's midnight and I'm blogging and my dog is literally snoring in my ear and that means it's time to go before I smack her. Jk I would never hit her. Peace out girl scouts.



Hopefully blogger decides to chill the fuck out tomorrow so I can upload actual pictures and not wack ass google shit. Can you tell I'm bitter? So much vulgar language tonight...sorry friends.

-Crystal

Weekend, The Good, and the Mondays,,on a Tuesday.

First of all, I took my contacts out before blogging, like a dummy and my dog chewed up my glasses last week, so if there are typos in here, I'm sorry, buuuut I'm blind as a bat. I did take typing class my freshman year of highschool, and I was an English/French major in college, so I should be ok...hopefully.

No post yesterday because my blogger was acting foolish. I actually wanted to post dammit. I think I'm seeing progress in my back muscles! Lookie! If I'm not, well then just play along ok? Thanks. If anything, I'll use this sucker as a progress picture in the future.

Or maybe it's just my shoulders but it looks like my back? Who knows. Ignore my creeper eye in the corner. I was trying to hurry because there's only one big mirror and folks could walk in any moment and catch me takin selfies #awkward.

After the gym on Sunday/taking selfies, I decided to go get my nails donezo. I just like being pampered, what can I say? It was glorious. I haven't gotten my nails done in years. Literally. Probably why my girl Nancy was all up in my toes with both hands. I used to dance contemporary/modern and ballet in highschool, and we danced barefoot a lot, so I needed the callouses on my feet for pirouettes and whatnot. Gross, I know. But pedicures were a big no-no, and I just never thought to go, even after I stopped dancing.

Since I rarely drink sodas, basically only when I go out drinking with friends, I drink this store brand carbonated flavor stuff. Tastes just like soda to me, and its zero calories and zero sugar. Yes its sweetened with aspartame and other crap, but my intestines have yet to fall out of my booty hole, so don't give me any crap! I'm punny.

Anywho, moving to the present. So I've had a long week, and by week I do mean just Monday. It's fine, just go with it. The end of the month is always crazy at my job while we close out accounts an shit My week started with this gem.

If you can't read that, it says "2 miles to empty". You know that emoji on iphone that's like -___-, well yea that was my face. Of course the day I have no gas I'm stuck in typical Northern VA traffic. Kill me. Luckily I made it to a gas station because I have a little reserve tank in my car, but still that shit is nerve wracking. 

My day didddd get better though! Did some online shopping after my workout as a reward. Old Navy had sent out an email mentioning their active wear sale and I told myself that if I worked out I could buy some goods. You best believe I got that workout in! 2 mile run, 1/2 mile fast paced walk at level 10 incline, followed by bicep/tricep workout, followed by taking the little demon on a walk. So I treated myself to a tank top, some size 8 skinny khakis for work, and a pencil skirt...We'll have to see if the pencil skirt looks ok on my below average height self..I'm only 5'3. ugh. Here's to hoping I love it all!

Last little nugget: A girl I went to college with but didn't really talk to commented on one of my instagram (@simply_crystaal) pictures saying that since I talked about body pump so much she was going to try it out tonight!!! She sent me a picture of herself after the class was over and said that it wore her out, but it was worth it. I smiled so hard. Someone stepped outside of their comfort zone because of something I said, and it made my whole night! 

-Crystal