A Moment of Doubt

Yesterday as I was getting ready for the gym, I started to notice my legs looked differently to me. So I was pokin an proddin and ugh sweet jesus it was loose skin. I'm no stranger to the stuff, My boobs are lookin like deflated balloons, which I'm totally ok with because I'm gettin a lift on those suckers once I'm not poor, and my stomach has stretch marks and loose skin galore. But I'd always thought my legs had survived the apocalypse. So for a moment when I had my nike pro shorts on, I debated changing.

Why? In my mind I'm still a size 18 and I have no business wearing these tiny ass spandex shorts to the gym. At that size I would have neverrrrr have worn them. I seriously just started wearing cute workout clothes like 6 months ago. I convinced myself that I was crazy and went to the gym anyways. And theeeen I walked in the weight room. Usually I'm perfectly content and don't care if anyone's watching. Yesterday I was a nervous mess, like I was about to walk into a death trap. I was full on pulling at my shorts, checking mirrors, looking around all sketchily...you know, full on self conscious.

Again, I told myself to shut up and go workout. It's leg day, so I finished my dead lifts and goblet squats and head over to the squat rack. And then I noticed my shirt. My brand new shirt that I was so excited to wear, and had already forgotten to look at in the mirror.

It says, "WILD". Old Navy for 8 dollhairs. Hollaaaa!

So I'm at the squat rack and I literally said, "Hot damn. I'm wild. I'm a wild woman. Wild women are not scared of anything. Wild women don't care about loose skin on their legs. Wild women can hang with the boys in the weight room because we are bad ass mother fuckers." Naturally, the guy next to me in another squat rack is looking at me like I'm a freaking phsycopath, and he would be correct. And then I squatted the most I ever have - 130. So I guess my little pep talk worked? Finished up legs, kicked out some cardio on the stairmaster, and walked out of the gym with my head held high. 

Moral of the story: Talk to yourself, because clearly that shit works and wild women get shit done in the gym.

Also my previous pancake ass is finally growing. This is a miracle, my friends. I know it's still small, shush.

Also also, I post more on my Instagram than I do on here, soooo you should scoot on over there and follow me! 

-Crystal