Macros Schmacros

Heyy friendssss

So yea I was gone last week, besides my mandatory FALL IS HEEEERRREEEE post, because priorities.

Buuuut mostly because I fell off the cliff. Yea, not the wagon this time; a whole mother effing cliff. I felt like a big ole hyprocrite talking about my workouts and food and blah blah blah when in real life I was eating any and everything in sight, and not working out. It is a vicious cycle that no one should have to witness. Let's just say when I throw down, I throw DOWN. Hence why I used to be 234 pounds.

True life: that XXL Christmas sweater for the ugly Christmas sweater party aaaactually fit. Akward.

Anywho, it all started when I finally got out of the freakin 170s. That didn't last long, because the next weekend I took my happy ass to VA Beach for some sorority sister bonding, read: eat Mexican and Sushi and Cookout and drink alcohol and give no fucks. Ugh, such is life. Came home and tried to get my shit together aaaand that didn't happen because Leon wanted to go back to VA Beach for a friend's baby's birthday. So yet again, more eating delicious food that isn't in Northern VA. That was my excuse for eating a heavenly 1/4 pound burger with cheddar cheese and mushrooms w/ french fries. Judge me. I'm judging myself. Got home, and literally said, "yeaaaaa I'm not feelin the whole working out thing.." 

So I didn't work out that day. Or the next day. Or the day after. This lasted for 2 weeks. That is the longest I hadn't worked out since I've started this lovely little journey. Mind you, I was eating according to my macro plan for breakfast and lunch, but come dinner, all counting went out the window. Want pizza for dinner? Suuuure. Mediterranean Kabobs tomorrow? Suuuuuure. I'm thinkin Chinese tonight? Sounds gooooood.

 I had obviously lost my mind.

One day Leon became a little concerned with my eating habits that were obviously pointing towards becoming not so great, and asked if I was ok, while staring at the 2 pieces of pizza on my plate. Aaaand then I snapped, because obviously when you eat bullshit consistently after eating healthy consistently, your mind/body isn't alllll there. I was embarrassed. I was ashamed that I had fallen back so hard. Of course pizza is fine in moderation, but ya girl was working on piece 3 and 4, plus the wings I had just downed. I should have been glad that he was concerned and loved me enough to say something, but of course I took it as an insult and flipped shit. Sheesh Crystal, calm down and eat some broccoli. After telling him to not judge my food, whether it be pizza or salad, I calmed the fuck down and realized that I needed to get it together.

Needless to say, the next day I ate according to my macros and got my happy ass outside for a run. It really is that easy to slip back into old habits, and honestly it was a little scary. I most definitely cannot go back to the overweight, self conscious girl who broke out in a sweat from trying on clothes, but I've realized that it no one will hate me if I share my highs AND lows. Honestly, I hate reading about people who never struggled and never had an off week (or two..oops), because it's like shit girl, why is your life so perfect? Tell me the truth and tell me your struggles! I don't mean that in a "I hate you because I can't be you" way, but in a "I can't connect with you" kinda way. Whatever. I'm back on track, and doing the "October Challenge with SkinnyMeg" to get into the 160s and STAY there. No celebration for hitting 169 this time. Need to keep chuggin along.

Dec. 2012 and Sep. 2014

I'll get there! Hopefully sooner rather than later..

-Crystal