Today has been a day.

I'm no expert. We've established this. What I am, is an ex-fatty. That's all I've got. And ya know what? Today I'm having a crap day. I woke up feelin good, scale showed me a good number, took the stairs instead of the elevator to my office, and theeeen I got inside. Not only was the coffee pot already empty, but I burned my bagel. For the second day in a row. Then my coworker, who I already dislike, started bitchin and whinin about random crap. And theeeen my building had a tenant appreciation BBQ. Did I eat any? NOPE. Did I want some? HELL YES. This resulted in me eating lunch by myself at my desk.

And theeeen my BFF Aunt Flow came to visit, the little bitch. So, naturally, I'm feeling about 15 pounds heavier because I bloat like a preggo beluga whale. True story, my friends. Did I go to the gym? Nope. Ya know why? Because it feels like the devil is clawing at my insides. I know, I know, working out makes cramps feel better, but today, I wanted to moan and roll around in my bed in pain while my dog gives me dirty looks. I will say, that instead of finding the nearest pint of Ben&Jerry's and dunking my head in it, I ate a solid cup of trail mix. Lots of fat, but at least it's healthy fat. Am I right, or am I right?

Now that I'm done complaining about my shitty day, let's chat about the plan of action moving forward.

How I felt at work today.

Tomorrow, I'm not weighing myself, because that is a dumbass thing to do when I'm obviously holding on to a buttload more water weight. I will proceed to drink my gallon of water, because we all know the more water you drink, the less your body holds onto. I will go for a run after work and then go to the gym and work my biceps and triceps, because I'll feel like a beast afterwards.  I will eat my planned meals and not wander off to the snack closet at work that is full of candy, soda, and oreos.

I know one day of being a bum and potentially eating a pop tart won't hurt me (uhhh you didn't hear that part...), but still, picking yourself up after a day of being unmotivated is hard no matter the length of time. What I can say, is that motivation comes in the CRAZIEST forms sometimes. For some people, it's simple, and they just decide to change. For some people it takes time, tears, shame, and embarrassment to get that kick in the ass. For me, it was realizing that I needed to buy a size 18 pants. I will never ever get back to that point, and that is my motivation. Find yours and run with it. If you're still waiting for yours, make small changes daily, and it will come.

This post may be super all over the place, but yea. Emotions are all over the place and I just finished watching 2 season finales so I'm also distracted. And it's 11 pm and I have a headache.

Tiger is also being a jackass today. Not helping my situation. But she's so cuuuuute :)

P.S. I just found the greatest thing and I'm considering buying it because I have no self control when I'm having that time of the month. Ladies, meet the Kitchen Safe. Lock junk food, credit cards, car keys on drunken nights and all that crap in here for any amount of time.

You can buy this sucker/find out more about it HERE. Now, excuse me while I go convince my boyfriend that this is completely necessary. He will most likely say no. It's fine.

Buh-bye now!
-Crystal