Driving the Struggle Bus...All Aboard!

Hey friends, my apologies for no post yesterday. Our electric company shut off the whole neighborhood's power to do some work, and then forgot to turn it back on. Yea, that happened.

Moving on, today was a big ole mess in my mind. Not really in my outward life, but in my head I just felt very all over the place. Anyone else have these days? Because I have them often. If I sound crazy, just go ahead and move along to another blog for the day. Just a crazy overstressed person, nothin to see here..

 I've been struggling a lot lately with this whole losing weight thang, as I've said maybe 972,000 other times before today. I get so close to a real loss and then the scale says, "LOL SORRY JUST KIDDING!". It is the absolute worst. I completely agree and understand that I shouldn't judge progress solely on the scale, but uhhh when I've been dancing in circles for 5 months between 174-177, I'm gonna start to go a little bat shit crazy. It's a vicious cycle - I do really well, get to 175, keep doing well, scale shoots back up to 176, I eat everything from DC to California because I'm frustrated, scale ends up back at 177 or 178. Start cycle all over again. So this morning, little bitch scale says 178 and I was about 2 seconds from hulk smashing some shit. I mean, I knew it wouldn't be a glorious number seeing as though I did enjoy some Ben&Jerry's this weekend, but still. A girl can dream, right?

So I get to work and I'm cruisin through instagram, hating life and trying to avoid my coworkers for fear that I may rip someone's neck out if they look at me wrong, and one of my favorite accounts on instagram for inspiration, This girl I've been following for a while, Kristin (@kristinkashuba) pops up with some words to brighten my day. She basically talked about how she took a much needed break and tried to incorporate balance in her life and that while she loves fitness and being healthy, she realized that family, fun, and friends are just as important and to not beat yourself up for falling down or falling behind, as long as you get right back up. Well, you know me, eyes got all watery and I had to pull my shit together real fast. Can't have the coworkers thinkin I'm a big softy (even though I totally am). So Kristin wrote this back when I commented that I really needed to see that and that I really appreciated it.

Her response made me even mooooore teary eyed, and I plan on keeping this screenshot for a while. I've heard these same comments a million times, but for some reason it really struck a cord with me this time. Who knows. Maybe I'm just an emotional mess. That's perfectly fine with me, as long as I'm gettin shit done.

side note: Everything above this was written last night. I promptly passed out because it was most definitely past 11 pm, and ya girl was tired. 

HELLO, HI! It's Wednesday now (wednesday night to be specific. I'm going to bed soon.) So today was much much better than yesterday, mentally and workout wise too. I woke up with a lets-kick-some-ass attitude. At work, my boss ordered pizza and it smelled deeelicious. Did I have some? NOPE. Badass, kept it movin and ate my salad. Would I have liked some pizza? HELL YES. But I know I would have hated myself later for it. Didn't drink any coffee today either! I'm doing a cleanse soon, and you can't have coffee, so I'm trying to prepare myself for that. More on the cleanse tomorrow! After work, I went to the gym and killlllled my leg workout. I set some new PR's (personal records) for myself and I felt great. I squatted 120 pounds and leg pressed 305 pounds. I was feelin unstoppable. I'm hoping tomorrow will be just as great. Because ya girl, is feelin good and trying to trust the process over here. Work with me, universe!

Sorry for the lack of photos, my phone is actin dumb, per usual.