Step 2. Buy them expensive ass food that you most definitely cannot afford. But I can't let my precious child eat Kibbles n Bits! She can only have the best! (My mother says I act like this because it's my first child...side eye) Anywho, her bowls are cute.
Step 3. Let her have the bed to lay on while you sit on...the floor. Yes, I'm sitting on the floor so I don't wake her up. Please don't judge me more than I'm already judging myself.
Step 4. Take them on runs with you, while they prove to you that they are not worthy of your precious therapeutic time. ex: Tiger sniffing grass while I'm trying to finish out 4 miles.
Step 5. Don't hate them when they bark at every living (and non living) creature. Tiger's favorite things to bark at are men, rabbits, leaves, poop, and children. Yea, I know, I got a
Step 6. Give them their crazy people pills, without judgement. Not everyone can be sane and fabulous. Tiger has really bad aggression/anxiety problems. She gets aggressive when she's scared or overwhelmed and I'd rather take care of that little issue before homegirl takes off a child's pinky finger. Lately though, it hasn't been working as well, so we might try a behavioral specialist instead. My name is Crystal, and my dog most likely needs therapy.
Step 7. Only withhold treats (all natural, of course..no but really, anything but all natural and my sicko dog is barfing in my car. yea, that happened.) for 2 days when they decide to chew up your remote control. She didn't even offer to buy me a new remote..lil bitch...literally. awkward.
Step 8. Let them get some morning snuggles in...while taking over your pillow and pushing you away. Most mornings I get a paw or two to the throat while Tiger insists that my pillow is most definitely hers. I would show you the evidence, but you'll have to kill me before you see me with my head scarf on and no bra. sorry folks.
Step 9. Let them have play dates with their friends on the regular. Lord knows Tiger needs friends. She really is a big little bully. She's only 23 pounds but she has to play with the 60+ pound dogs at daycare because she hates little dogs.
(Tiger and my cousin's dog, Tyson! Tiger took his toy and then got mad when he wanted to play with it. Typical.)
Step 10. Love them just as much as the day you welcomed them home! Puppy breath and all.
The day I brought her home in September 2013!
The first morning I had my new pup at home, she was six months old, she chewed up a library book and ate wallpaper. Yet here she is nine years later, still with us. She's lucky!
ReplyDeleteGotta love our fur babies!
Aww, I want to adopt another doggie! We just lost my Buzzy boy back in June of last year. I want to adopt another doggie soon but we want to get a fence built first I think before we take on another furball.
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